


The Sparrow Takes Flight

by Icouldhavedroppedmycroissant



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Comedy with a side of angst, F/F, I don't know how asylums work, I just tagged rogues gallery because i didn't want to type all those names out, I rated it t because I wanted to curse, a dude that asks people riddles, a guy wearing a potato sack on his head, a guy with an arsenal of umbrellas, a lady obsessed with plants, and so on - Freeform, honestly I wonder why the citizens of gotham take the rouges seriously lmao, like you have a killer clown, should I tag this as slow burn?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:08:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22367692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icouldhavedroppedmycroissant/pseuds/Icouldhavedroppedmycroissant
Summary: In this story, we will follow Lenore Nikolaiovna Vorobyev, a rogue known as the Sparrow, as she juggles her civilian life with her crime life. Join her as she assassinates corrupt politicians, works as a bartender at the Iceberg Lounge, causes absolute havoc with her buddies Edward and Jonathan who she lovingly refers to as "my boys", falls in love with a girl that she thinks she has absolutely no chance with, spends some time at Arkham Asylum, struggles to make friends outside of crime,  and busts her ass trying to get an invite into the Legion of Doom.
Relationships: (although it's a bit one-sided at first), Selina Kyle/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	The Sparrow Takes Flight

"FUCK!" Lenore cursed as she lied down in agony, trying to reach for her knee, which she just dislocated after getting the brilliant idea of jumping out of a window to escape Batman.

"Блядь!Блядь!Блядь!" she kept cursing, this time in Russian, her native language. There was nothing she could scream and curse, alternating between English and Russian, hoping that at least someone would find her.

That someone ended up being Batman. She wasn't too happy to see him, but it was good enough for her.

"...Your knee is dislocated..." he said to her.

"Yeah, no shit Bats!" she shouted, her Russian accent very thick, "Why do you think that is, hm?"

Batman didn't speak a work, and just knelt down to her level.

"I'm going to pop your knee back into place," he told her, placing one gloved hand on her knee and the other on her thigh, preparing to relocate her knee cap.

"Wait, what?! Hey, wait! Do not fucking touch me! Do you hear me?! Не трогай меня!" she protested, but to no prevail.

With one swift movement, Batman popped her knee back into place, receiving a piercing shriek from Lenore that slowly died out.

Lenore whimpered, too scared to even move her knee, afraid it would pop back out again. Batman scooped her up and started carrying her over to the Batmobile.

"... I'm going back to Arkham, aren't I?" she asked in a defeated tone.

Batman paused for a moment, and replied: "Yes. You need help, Lenore, but I'm afraid I'm not the right person to give it to you. Maybe one day, you'll meet someone who can give it too you."

\---

Lenore sat in her cell, thinking about what Batman had said. Why on Earth would she need help? She was almost positive that what she was doing was right. Sure, she's killed a few people, but they deserved it! If anything, the Bat should be happy that she's doing him a favor and exterminating that filth from Gotham!

"Alright, Vorobyev. It's time for group therapy." the guard outside of her cell snapped her out of her deep thought. Sighing, she got up and followed the guard.

The guard took her to a room with Harley, Edward, Pamela, Jonathan, and Harvey, or as they're better known as, Harley Quinn, the Riddler, Poison Ivy, Scarecrow, and Two Face. Lenore walked over and sat in an empty seat next to Edward and Pamela.

"So, o'l Bats finally got you after 3 months, huh?" Pamela asked her.

"Да. It was a pain in the ass keeping him off of my tail for that long, but he caught up to me." she explained, looking around the room.

"It looks like he was able to do a number on you as well." Jonathan pointed out her knee brace.

"Actually, Batman didn't do that. That's my own fault, I probably shouldn't have jumped out the window of a second story building..." Lenore told him.

"Well, I'm glad to see you! With how long you were under the radar, I thought you were dead! It wasn't until I saw the news of your capture that I knew you were even alive!" Harley said with a smile on her face.

Lenore smiled. Even though the life of a rogue in Gotham was no easy one, at least she was able to make a few friends.

Just then, the doctor walked in the door, closing it behind her.

"Hello everyone. My name is Doctor Jillian Moore, and I'm going to be leading you all through group therapy today. So, to start off today, we're going to introduce ourselves so that I can get to know you all. Let's start with Ms. Vorobyev." Dr. Moore said to the group, eyeing Lenore.

Lenore stood up, and started: "Hello, my name is Eleanor Nikolaiovna Vorobyev, but everyone calls me Lenore."

"Hello, Lenore" everyone said monotonously.

"I was originally from Russia, but my family moved to Gotham when I was seven. It is there I saw how corrupt the political system in the United States is, and how poorly immigrants are treated here," she continued, "and that is why I become the Sparrow, assassinating corrupt political figures here in Gotham."

Dr. Moore was silent for a moment, and finally said: "... Okay, thank you Ms. Vorobyev. What about you, Mr. Nygma?"

\---

Lenore was just sitting on the couch in the REC room when Edward walked up and sat next to her.

"What is it, Nygma? Here to mock me for finally getting caught by the Batman?" she asked him bluntly.

"What? Of course not, Lenore! I just wanted to see an old friend! I will say, it's quite impressive that no one knew where you were or if you were even alive for three whole months," he said to her, "Also, I wanted to test a few new riddles I came up with for Batman, if you don't mind?"

"Sure, увольнять," she said, with a slight smirk.

"I speak without a mouth and hear without ears. I have no body, but come alive with wind. What am I?"

"An echo"

"You measure my life in hours and I serve you by expiring. I'm quick when I'm thin and slow when I'm fat. What am I?"

"A candle"

"Good! Now finally: What is it that walks on four legs, then two, and then finally, three?"

"A baby. It comes into the world crawling on four limbs. Cut off it's legs, and it can only wiggle on two limbs. Give it a crutch, it can hobble around on three," she finished.

"Impressive..." Edward said, "How is it that you were able to guess them almost right away?"

"I've known you long enough, Edward. My mind has grown sharp. I guess it's a side effect of being your friend" Lenore told him.

"Well, at least I know I have one friend in this crazy place," he said.

"Да, same here," she said, then paused, "Wait, you also have other friends. What about Jonathan, or Oswald, or Jervis, or Harley?"

"I meant a friend that I know won't betray me," he told her.

"You don't know that," she commented.

"... fair enough" he said, looking away.

"Hey, don't take it personally. It's Gotham City, you never know if someone would take a bullet for you, or if they're going to be the one pointing the gun at you," she stated, "Believe me, I know."

Suddenly, a couple of guards walked into the room. "Alright everyone, break time's over, back to your cells."

Lenore sighed, and got up and followed the guards back to her cell.

\---

That night, when Lenore was asleep in her cell, she heard a muffled BOOM. She bolted up, and ran up to the glass case to see what the noise was, but she didn't see anything.

"Stupid cell designs, obstructing my view..." she muttered bitterly. Out of the blue, she heard the distance sound of maniacal laughter. 'No...' she thought to herself, 'It can't be...'

Sure enough, it was. Walking down the hall, was the Clown Prince of Crime himself, the Joker. Oh, how she hated him! While the other rogues actually have reasons for their crimes and occasional murders, the Joker had no reasons. He killed people just because he thought it was funny! What kind of sick person does that?! Not to mention, the way he treated Harley when they were still together... she was glad Harley dumped that creep. Just looking at him made Lenore want to put her hands around his little neck and-

Suddenly, all the cell doors, including hers, opened simultaneously. Everyone, realizing their new freedom, started running, beating up guards along the way. Lenore made her way to the room that had the boxes containing everyone's stuff (she forgot what it was called), and grabbed the box labeled 'L. Vorobyev.' After going through her stuff and changing back into her 'Sparrow' costume, she started running to the giant hole the Joker made in the wall. Along the way, she passed the clown himself. She stopped, deciding she'd have a little fun first.

"Hey, Joker?" she got his attention.

"Yes, little birdie?" he said in a sickeningly sweet voice.

Lenore cringed, as she always hated that nickname, but stood her ground. Showing him her middle finger, she said: "Fuck you, Joker," and ran off.

\---

Russian phrases in order: "Fuck!" "Do not fucking touch me!" "Yes" and "Fire away".


End file.
